Everything you need is within you now

You are not your relationship or your best pair of heels,

or this seasons new look

or your job,

or your mortgage

or your kids school grades.

You:

Yes you are a miraculous creation!

You are a beautiful and precious soul that exists with or without the crazy antics of the busy life you lead.

Believe it or not you can just be.

It's your birthright to be happy!

Let's take a step back in time;

were you once like this little girl,

or did you have dreams like this little girl?

were you a little child who knew what they loved;

and just enjoyed doing it with no reservations or qualification required?

What happened?

Aren't women today supposed to be able to get and do anything they want?

This generation knows better - right?

Instead we see examples of women thriving as they live a completely authentic existence;

and examples of women falling apart at the seams as they struggle to live a lie.



Popular music can be a window into where women are at in 2009.

Are we really so enlightened now?

I recently took a look at the Billboard Top 20 for 2008.

I strongly urge you to checkout some of these performances on Youtube ... something to think about ... what might the theme of these songs mean for women as a whole and yourself in 2009?

You should definitely not be so hard on yourself if you've lost your way.

In our modern life we are overwhelmed with images and themes which seem to bear no relation to true happiness and beauty and real love.

- or if these images do teeter closely to displaying what we've come to know as love,

more often than not it is in the context of desperately needing it or them and having to struggle to hold onto it.

The songs from the Top 20 sung by women include:

2. Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis - Spirit

3. No One - Alicia Keyes - As I Am.

6. No Air - Jordan Sparks - No Air

7. Love Song - Sara Bareilles - Little Voice

12. Take a Bow - Rhianna - Good Girl Gone Bad

14. Kissed a Girl - Kate Perry - One of the Boys

16. Disturbia - Rhianna - Good Girl Gone Bad

17. Don't Stop the Music - Good girl Gone Bad

18. Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful of Sunshine



This is a snapshot of the lyrics:



(women's sad mantra 2008)



And don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not,

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

This was never the way I planned not my intention

I got so brave, drink in hand, lost my discretion

My head gets so confused, hard to obey

Release me from this curse I'm in

Trying to maintain but I'm struggling

What's wrong with me?

Why do I feel like this?

I'm going crazy now

No more gas, in the rig, can't even get it started

Nothing heard, nothing said, can't even speak about it

On my life, on my head, don't wanna think about it

Feels like I'm going insane, yeah

I just can't refuse it

Take me away A secret place A sweet escape To better days My hiding place

Head underwater And they tell me to breathe easy for a while

Breathing gets harder, even I know that

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake It's 'cause you took my breath away

Losing you is like living in a world with no air

So how do you expect me to live alone with just me?

cause my world revolves around you it's so hard for me to breathe

When the rain is pouring down and my heart is hurting

you will always be around this I know for certain

Closed off from love I didn't need the pain

Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain

Time starts to pass Before you know it you're frozen

Keep, keep bleeding love I keep bleeding

You cut me open...

Is it any wonder so many of us seem to unconsciously embrace depression as the mantle of what being a woman is in 2009?

You are a beautiful soul that is separate to the manic mutterings of your own overwhelmed mind, and the sometimes hypnotic chanting of the popular media.

Value yourself!

Love yourself!

Embrace your worthiness!

You deserve to be happy,

you deserve love,

you deserve everything that life has to offer!

The good news is

You are not your surroundings,

you are not society,

you are not a film clip,

or a movie,

or a book,

or anything that can be pinned down and labelled

- you are you!

This stuff is happening around you,

and you might absorb it more than you would like,

but it's not YOU !

The theme of this website is to attempt to illustrate what the difference is between living authentically and living a lie.



- To hopefully help many women exhale as they realise there are logical reasons why they feel the way they feel.

- To hopefully remove some of the stigma of depression and anxiety which can contribute a great deal to the power of the illness.

- To foster sisterly support and understanding between women.

- To offer an alternative source of resources from someone who has actually lived through depression anxiety and panic attacks,

- has experienced hospitalisation,

(and being treated like a drug addict rather than gently advised that I was probably having some sort of panic attack)

- has been heavily medicated and recovered.

- Has been a mother three times,

wife,

daughter in law,

daughter,

ex,

sister and

grand-daughter.

Who knows how you feel.

- To most of all offer love and hope from someone who has

been to those depths many times and come back again.

We need to accept the contrasting and sometimes frustrating parts of our nature as being okay,

even when others may not understand or want to regiment our behaviour.

Who made all the rules anyway?

There's way too many 'supposed tos...'

Sometimes we need to be protected and feel safe,

other times we need to be as free as a bird.

We women are complex creatures,

who when we are allowed to embrace all the different multifaceted parts of ourselves can truly shine.

Unfortunately many of us shut down especially when we get married or become parents

and almost seamlessly begin living in a world of misguided nobility.

Many women descend into depression, anxiety and high stress levels as they live out what was expected in their parents or even grandparents generation.

This trend is happening today, around the world to women of all ages, races and backgrounds.

The biggest tragedy is that in many instances women allow and enable the whole process,

inadvertently becoming a product of a thousand different influences and putting themselves in situations which lend themselves to abuse.

When one door of happiness closes another opens;

but often we look so long at the closed door

that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller

Although we'd like to think it doesn't, popular culture can still tend to glamourise the idea of total devotion to a man; 'the one'

who is supposed to fill in all the gaps and make everything wonderful.

This is great in an ideal world where you have actually met a gem of a person...

However for many of us there are rites of passage which include poor decisions and bad timing.

We may get to thirty and having gained some confidence and centeredness we make a fresh start in looking for a worthy partner only to find there are still layers of unconscious expectation lurking beneath the surface.

We like to think that we are so much wiser in 2009,

but if anything the messages of inadequacy have become even more subtle, cloaked in notions of liberation and being in party girl mode.

I've lost count of the women I've spoke to who appear at first to be confident and gorgeous,

only to gradually reveal that they are enabling disrespectful treatment in their relationships.

A woman can easily fall into the habit of justifying all kinds of unacceptable behaviour

when she unconsciously believes that the relationship defines who she is.

Look at Rhiannas face when she sings the hit song Take a Bow.







There are so many songs that chronicle the story of a woman realising she has been betrayed.

She proceeds to lock her ex outside the house, throw his clothes out on the street, go on a wild shopping spree using his credit card, punch him in the face, get another boyfriend who is richer / smarter / hotter.

Yet the result as these events unfold although culturally assumed and accepted, is that she is somehow broken, weakened,

still missing him, walking wounded and definitely not better off on many levels.

Similarly the woman is the party who is portrayed as dealing with the hurt in a childish or venomous fashion, as we see in the burning of documents in the above film clip.

Somehow we can ignore this because she looks so incredibly beautiful - beauty and pain seem such comfortable bedmates.

- it looks so good, it sounds so good, it's seductive and it sells records.

Of course there are times when we want to hear a song like this because we can intimately relate to the sad circumstance and it feels like we want to connect with the hurt of women everywhere and make our peace with what's happened in the same way which appears to have been somewhat effective.

Whether its sitting on the couch with a bucket of ice cream and watching chick flicks or going out with friends and drinking copiously while ranting on sadly we listen to these songs, hoping they will help act as a sort of a catalyst to move forward.

The song ' I will survive' is a classic example. We love to hear the story.

- And I'm not saying that isn't part of the process for many of us.

However it is worth considering that this type of scenario and the songs that seem to accompany it have become part of the cultural zeitgeist and therefore perhaps an expectation that women feel.

The knee jerk reaction to heart break seems to be that wallowing is automatic and indeed expected rather than an opportunity to move on to something far better and superior.

Many women I have spoken to feel obliged to actually react more sadly when they have been through a break up, so that other's around them will not be put out by their relief and joy.

The question how much do these cultural themes impact on the quality of our lives as women?

Despite the many advances of the women’s movement some dynamics of oppression appear to have carried on stronger then ever.

I'm here to tell you the explanation for this lies in a clear choice.

To be or not to be; me? 

Have you succumbed to the myths of the many unfair and ridiculous standards women are supposed to adhere to?

How many times in a day do you feel inadequate and have those conversations in your head that are telling you to

get with the program and lose weight,

get a man, satisfy the one you've got by learning pole dancing, clean up the house, organise the finances,

be a better mother, renovate the backyard, drink less wine,

eat more vegetables, ring all those people you should have, finish that book,

do that course, focus more on work, drink less coffee...

Standards that can only get higher and more impossible as you dive into the challenges of motherhood, relationships and old age.

You messy and moody and spectacularly being yourself is the answer!

Is it so impossible to believe that being ourselves might be the most enticing quality we have?

It worked for Bridget!

Often the answers are right in front of us;

but sadly like Dorothy we may be unaware

that in any given moment we can choose to live our lives

differently.

We've always had the power to click our heels and go back to Kansas.

Many women are seduced into thinking that their suffering and sacrifice is helping their loved ones.

There are times when this is needed; the obligatory sleepless nights when the children are young, the lunch with the judgemental relatives when you've had a rough week and just need a lie in.

However women seem to have an innate ability to always take the sacrifice too far.

Ironically it is this lack of authenticity and unappreciated self sacrifice

that has the potential to cancel out their efforts and sometimes lead those they love to behave and live in destructive ways.

 When a woman is operating on a daily basis with the characteristics of a wind up doll; then everyone in her life will be affected.

Why not seize the pleasure at once?

How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation. - Jane Austen

Change is not easy for anyone, but what a tragedy if your fear of change is costing you having the life you deserve!

Maybe it's your time to be courageous.

Like the following song asks:

Can you handle the seasons of your life?

Are you afraid of change because you've built your life around someone or something else?

Lack of authenticity will cause all relationships to suffer on some level, even if everything appears okay.

People will sense they are interacting with a shadow of the real person.

"Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick.” - Gwneth Paltrow

Precious time and potential will be wasted; opportunities lost, and off spring given a poor role model for a high quality life.

I am reminded of Meryl Streeps role in the following movie, where she sacrifices a chance at being with her soulmate on the altar of being a good wife and mother.

This is no passing fling, but an opportunity to be truly whole.

Perhaps she did the right thing, perhaps she didn't,

the question is did her sacrifice benefit anyone and what did it mean ultimately?

Okay I've had a lot to say and hope I've given you something to think about.

Now here comes the best bit.....

 

The good news is that you can choose at any time to

reignite your soul and step away from the manic mutterings of your mind.

Now is your time!

Anyone can choose to wake up on any given day and make a completely new start, and there are limitless resources within and without!

You are so beautiful,

so strong,

so unique,

so precious,

do you know it yet?

I don't know you personally,

but I know that you have something to offer and that the universe would not be the same without your precious presence!

Open your eyes and see your life with yourself in the starring role!

 

 

 

 

It would be easy to focus on depression,

list it’s many attributes,

quote frightening statistics and bemoan the fact that so much pain occurs.

 

However as a fan of the Law of Attraction,

I believe that just exhaling and enjoying who we are is a wonderful way to move forward immediately.

It doesn't have to be exhausting, more like a sort of homecoming.

 

If we go down into ourselves, we find that we possess exactly what we desire. - Simone Weil

 

The strategies I talk about on this website have been designed to facilitate productive self growth.

 

Every day is a chance to start again.

 

 

 

 

There is a very real possibility that this generation could be the first to see a very real and potent difference in the health and happiness of women,

not just a different version of the same trends.

 

 

“I'm becoming more and more myself with time. I guess that's what grace is. The refinement of your soul through time.” - Jewel

 

 

Suddenly  many women can see the difference,

and as we see in the following video it can take a series of events to help us see the importance of being ourselves;

or we can just choose to be us now.

 

 

 

There is a reason why every self help guru around speaks emphatically about the issue of authenticity.

 

I aim to try and distill the very best and most up to date information from all of them plus tips and anecdotes I have discovered myself, and from other women in order to keep you informed.

 

Breaking stories which are relevant to women’s authenticity will be highlighted.

 

Please enjoy your free gift and join our community and become part of the wave which will breathe life back into the hearts and minds of women everywhere.

 

 

Here comes the sun little darling!

 

 

 

 

 

© 2009 Simone Huggins BGS.BT.

 

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About Me

Today I live in the beautiful Blue Mountains with my three daughters, writing, teaching and studying; but most of all enjoying the fresh air and friendly mountains community….

I love working on my website and finding new resources to make it better and better!...    

  

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Music

Music is a very powerful medium, which can inspire and heal. Its effect is immediate and potent. It costs very little and is often free.

 

Come and learn how to make your own uplifting and sensual playlists using many video examples.

 

No person alive could deny the power of music. Even the smallest child can appreciate the energy in a melody.

Come checkout some exciting sample playlists, including some of the best music videos of the last ten years and get ready to be inspired!... 

 

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Dance

 

Dance can make an enormous contribution to a woman’s physical, emotional and subconscious well-being.

 

What other activity is there that can be enjoyed regardless of age or background, with no experience or training, whatever your shape or size, as part of a group or alone, that is so much fun?

 

Come visit the dance page and checkout all the information about how to get started dancing, even if it's just around your kitchen!

We have sample playlists, loads of video examples many including basic dance moves!

Checkout some of the great videos of the most famous dance movies ever, like Flashdance, Dirty Dancing, Grease, Saturday Night fever and Strictly Ballroom.

Checkout Charlies Angels, dancing around the house, and that famous tango scene from the movie Frida. By the time you've finished, you will want to dance again!

 

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Words

 

 

Most of us have heard about ' Self Talk' and the power of our internal dialogue.

 

Basically the habitual way in which you speak with yourself everyday has enormous repercussions for your general happiness and wellbeing.

You could be sabotaging everything you are trying to achieve and not even realise...

 

Within your grasp is one of the most powerful tools that can be used to reverse depression, anxiety and stress.

You can start implimenting these strategies straight away, and feeling the effects immediately!

Come and find out what they are....

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Blog

 

 

I invite you to share the valuable information I am collecting, interpreting and sharing with thousands of other women in order to learn more about how we can be truly happy and get the most from our time here on earth.

Wellbeing and joy are our birthright, when we remove the obstacles which sometimes have been constructed by ourselves...

 

 

 

 

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