Words
The English language constitutes of a glorious treasure box of words, which are for the most part sadly locked away in the dictionary, on the bookshelf, to be accessed occasionally for academic or professional purposes.
Furthermore we have become increasingly familiar with articulating negative words and derogatory terms.
Who amongst us can instantly recite ten positive words regarding themselves?
How many of us struggle when faced with a situation which justifies a glowing response?
Many of us when put on the spot can come up with an obligatory beautiful or nice, whereas in a moment of stress we will easily and articulately verbalize a tirade of negativity.
"Words are of course the most powerful drug used by mankind" - Rudyard Kipling
The effect that this has on us and our children has taken a toll on our self love and self esteem as individuals and as a global community. The first minute of the following video illustrates my point.
The good news is that the potential for feel good vibes and a wonderful renewal of our relationship with ourselves and others is enormous!
I imagine if every single F....you or I suck could be replaced with something uplifting and validating ! The world would never be the same.....
Self Talk
The vast majority of great thinkers, writers and philosophers have spoken about the impact of the way human beings think, and how this affects themselves and the global community.
In recent times especially, there has been an explosion of information about the Law of Attraction and how thoughts become things. The following clip from the first twenty minutes of The Secret introduces this concept if you are not already familiar with it.
There have been ground breaking experiments done by Masaru Emoto where water crystals have been shown to take on markedly different formations when exposed to different thoughts and words.
The following video is a brief introduction.
Many in the self help community speak insistently about a key element which determines what we think, how we feel, and therefore what we manifest in our lives. It is the conversations we have with ourselves; our inner dialogue, our self talk.
If we sat and wrote down what we actually say to ourselves every day on a piece of paper, for many at best it would consist of an extensive list of self deprecating comments, and at worst a series of criticisms punctuated by curses.
The point is that our habitual vocabulary does exist, and it is absorbed directly into our subconscious.
"Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting and all relationships." - Jodie Foster
The unconscious
There are numerous studies which confirm that the conscious mind is only a small part of what makes up our thoughts; the largest part being our subconscious or unconscious mind.
Furthermore this highly complex miraculous processor is expert at soaking up information, and the most potent and overwhelming information resource it is exposed to is you.
"Words are like X-rays, if you use them properly – they’ll go through anything." – Aldous Huxley
Estimates of how many thoughts we have in a day vary widely from 3,000 to 60,000. Either way or anywhere in between this is a lot of thoughts, which are not edited or deleted by a kindness filter if unhelpful.
The unconscious mind defers to you, and always accepts the messages you are constantly sending it.
It is significant that the quantity and frequency of these messages far exceed any communications you may have with a best friend, a partner or family; you monopolize the information input.
It should be noted that although you may have certain philosophies, beliefs or ideas about who you are and how you wish to live your life; your inner dialogue may be completely contradicting these conscious goals.
As humans we already possess the innate qualities of compassion beauty, balance and centeredness.
However if we have had a cynical, stubborn, depressed or sad person endlessly repeating phrases, metaphors, beliefs, comments into our subconscious then these qualities will be suppressed.
In the following video, it would be a natural reaction to feel great empathy for the young boy. However has it occurred to you that perhaps the bullies in the video might have similar dialogue to some of the voices in your head?
As the unconscious mind is so powerful and its main resource appears to be what we think and say, our language stands up as the most effective and authoritative resource that can nurture, heal and uplift if we use it wisely.
Put simply we can brainwash or hypnotize ourselves with the words we use; this is how the inner dialogue and unconscious work.
I am not suggesting that we should try to erase somehow all negative emotion and feeling, repressing our thoughts in order to keep our minds “happy’.
Life will inevitably throw up challenges and problems, it is important to not repress yourself from having a human reaction. However the processing of an event once it has happened can change.
"As perfume to the flower so is kindness to speech." - Katherine Francke
A mind that is full of loving and kind dialogue is far more likely to make wise, caring decisions and react calmly. It should be noted that ‘I am’ is perhaps the most powerful phrase a person can use. This phrase used in combination with happy words is a very potent tool which can be used to reverse subconscious conditioning. A happy thought used firmly and meaningfully is far more powerful and enduring than a negative thought.
The words we use the most
When researching various lists of the most commonly used words, approximately only five to ten percent were what I would class as positively oriented words. What was more significant was that when I found a happy word, it was quite curt and brusque in quality. Words like good, well, great, fast and best.
The origin of English words is approximately 28% French, 28% Latin, and 25% Old and middle English. It appears that the most commonly used words gravitate towards Old English origins. 20 of the top 25 most used verbs and 17 of the top 25 used adjectives originate from Old English.
The following excerpt explains about of the origins of Old English.
My point is that as a language English seems to have evolved towards using more brief and abrupt Old English words in everyday conversation rather than the more expressive words of Old English and words of French and Latin origin.
Not only is there a small percentage of happy words appearing in conversation, but when they do appear they will be more likely to be neat and short one and two syllable descriptive words, rather than the more flamboyant varieties.
I am not in any way disrespecting the beauty of simple, meaningful, Old English words, as a whole there is a font of lovely Tolkeinish words and phrases to be found in this area. I am referring to the words we use the most, and just pointing out that maybe we are limiting ourselves and can have some fun with a few new words.
300 million human beings use the English language every day, and 1 in 5 people on the earth speak English with some competence.
When cross checking the lists another dynamic became very obvious to me. The word love was number 387 and friend 284 and beauty 425. Words like fun, happy, joy, peace, harmony and care did not make it into the top 500 at all.
I am no lexicographer or Professor of English, but when I think about how many people on the face of our planet speak the English language every day, and the fact that love is number 387 in the top 500 most used words I believe that there is potential for much healing, originating from the vast collective consciousness of all these people speaking and thinking everyday.
There is no way that the use of ‘Happy words' cannot have a profound effect on the universe.
Can you imagine the shifts that would take place in humanity if the top 500 most commonly used words included words such as grateful, shining, joy, peace, valuable and passionate?
Let’s find out!
The first step is to begin an inner dialogue based on love and encorougement... the following visual can help if this is an unfamiliar dynamic for you.
Suggestions for improving self talk
EXERCISE 1
Start with your name.
Choose at least ten of your favourite happy words from the first letter of your name. If your name happens to start with a letter that does not have very many words, for example X or Y, use your surname or a maiden name or your favourite letter, or a letter that has significance for you reason.
Example: Ann
adorable, adventurous, affable, accommodating, ardent, artistic, awakening, alluring, alive, authentic.
Type or write out the list with an Iam / Iam the / I am an / I am a before the words as follows:
I AM ANN
I am adorable
I am adventurous
I am affable
I am accommodating
I am ardent
I am artistic
I am awakening
I am alluring
I am alive
I am authentic.
With this list you can:
1. Stick it on your fridge with magnets
2. Blue tack to your bedstead.
3. Blue tack to toilet door
4. Scan and put on your desktop or screensaver
5. Print out on A4 paper and laminate
6. Fold and put in wallet
7. Use as a bookmark
8. Stick to roof above bed and read when awakening, going to bed or having a rest
Exercise 2
Say it to yourself out loud
Once you have some hard copies in whatever manner you come up with, the most important thing to do is say the affirmations to yourself in the morning and evening for at least 10 days. Even if you don’t look at any other suggestions that follow this alone will have a powerful effect.
Exercise 3
Apply to your Situation
Do the above, only base your word choices on any words from the Dictionary that you are drawn to, that you know instinctively you need to say to yourself because of a particular situation you are in.
For example Joanne is starting a new challenging job:
I am Joanne
I am multi talented
I am motivated
I am hi voltage
I am gold
I am bold
I am brimming
I am clever
I am commendable
I am determined
I am practical
I am potent
I am powerful
Sarah is recovering from an addiction
I am Sarah
I am radiant
I am resurfacing
I am peaceful
I am open
I am light
I am refreshed
I am lovable
I am healthy
I am nurtured
I am free
Exercise 4
Grateful Exercise
"Keep a grateful journal. Every night list five things that you are grateful for. What it will begin to do is change your perspective of your day and your life." - Oprah Winfrey
Compile this list based on what you are grateful for. Burn your favourite incense or essential oils, find a quiet place or time. Say the list in a spirit of gratitude.
Or
Without ceremony have the list in a spot where you can see it every morning and/or evening and just read through it
For example:
(Introduction)
I thank you God that I am ....
I am thankful that I am....
I am so grateful that I am......
I thank you universe for the gift of.....
I thank you Lord for the gift of......
I am grateful for ......
I am so grateful to have been gifted with ......
My heart overflows with thankfulness for these gifts....
Thank you for making me all that I am…
I accept the gifts God has given me; that I am…
(here is where your happy words make an entrance)
Authentic and abundant
Blessed and beloved
Couageous and creative
Dynamic and determined
Eager and exultant.
(Conclusion)
I offer my talents as a gift to myself and to the universe/ to you My Lord/ to my creator/ to the greater energy of the universe today.
The following video can give you some examples and inspiration if needed.
.
EXERCISE 5
I believe.
If you wrote down the beliefs you have about yourself as they flow through your mind, you would probably find that like the inner dialogue the beliefs are limiting and derogatory to yourself. For example:
I am never going to lose weight
I am always going to do a job I hate
No pain, no gain
Sometimes you have to take crap to get ahead.
Rewrite these using new words. Try to find words you may not have used before.
For Example:
I believe I can do anything; including being a bootylicious, bodacious, beautiful, blazing, blossoming, breezy, bright, bons fide, babe!
EXERCISE 6
Not in my vocabulary
Decide on a word a week that you are no longer going to use in your vocabularly. Evidence shows that if you do not consider a word part of your vocabularly then you are far less likely to feel that emotion regularly.
Imagine the power of deciding that hate is not a word in your vocabulrly but love is.
Depression is no longer a word in your vocabularly but happiness is.
Procrastination is no longer a word in your vocabularly but action is.
This doesn’t sound like much but this distinction is very powerful and can make big shifts in your personality. Try it!
Below are some examples.
I choose to remove failure from my vocabulary and replace it with
interesting result.
I choose to remove frustrated from my vocabulary and replace it with
passionate and driven.
Exercise 7
What negative emtions or feelings do you experience on a regular basis. Are you fearful, in shame, guilty, embarrassed etc. Choose a list of words which will especially counteract these feelings.
For example if you are fearful then you could come up with something like the following:
I am courageous, plucky, daring, audacious, brave, gutsy, heroic, gallant, cheeky, spirited, daring brash, sassy!
Say this ten times to yourself every day and you will grooming your subconscious work with you.
Another example could be if you are feeling alone or unloved
I am treasured, precious, dear, loved, cherished, prozed, valued, important, priceless, irreplaceable, indespensible, worthy, significant.
Your change of focus will not only help to brainwash negative mindsets away, it will attract a different energy into your life!
Your suggestions for improving self talk
Please share which phrases and affirmations have worked well for you in various situations.
Now your break throughs and light bulb moments can be helpful to others, whose brain might be so scrambled with stress and busy schedules they will be very grateful for your input!
Was there an affirmation that really made the difference, or a have you got a tip to counteract self talk that hasn't been mentioned?
Thank you in advance for your participation, I can't wait to hear what you have to say!
Please put your comment and name in the Contact section and your input will be included in future postings.
Your favourite words
Share words that have made the difference for you, words that have moved you, helped you, that mean something to you in your particular situation and you think might help others.
To many people the idea of changing your vocabulary might seem like a lame way to change your mindset, but anyone who has been called a slut or a failure, lazy or pathetic knows the power embedded in one word.
Alternatively whose spirit has soared when told they are lovely, beautiful, spectacular, a winner?
Please share from the treasure trove of intellect and experience out there. I cant wait to hear from you and include the results in future postings!
Word of the week
enough
I love this word because within the layers of what it means, there is peace and contentment.
I am enough
I am enough
I am enough
.
Meaning:
I am complete because I have a deep conviction and knowing that I am exactly what is needed and no more.
I am content and solid in the fact that I am a quality human being, and as such am o.k., just as I am.